Partially-liked, Partially-loved

There are days when you feel that you have it all under control, that you know you can stand on your own, that you can stand up for yourself so you can’t be hurt by anyone. Days when you feel you are strong and that nobody will ever make you feel you are less. Yes, there are days like that. And yes, days like that, well, it can stop flowing because the truth is there will come a time that you will be hurt no matter how much you guard yourself, no matter how much you try to build your walls so high so no one can come in. There will still be a day that you will just stop trying because it will feel like you haven’t really gotten far. There will be a day that you will feel you have really not grown much. There will be someone who can somehow break your walls that you have been building to protect your heart. And you are left clueless on what you did wrong this time. You have hid your heart, protected your heart for a long time so no one can even try to break it. But there will be a day when you will willingly break a part of your wall so you can let someone in. You will come to justify why you do that only to come to realize that you know you needed someone, too. You are not lonely, but you are alone. You are not weak but you are vulnerable. You needed a friend, you needed whoever this someone's going to be, just so you can share happiness again with somebody. You know you are happy by yourself, but it would be nice to share joy with another person as well. But days like these, it would be confusing, mentally-challenging. You are just so focused on being happy, you may forget how to handle pain again. You are just so happy, you may forget you can be hurt and vulnerable again. You were so happy, you forgot how to be sad. And now, you’re crying because...well, pain. A pain that's become unfamiliar.

And because you only broke a part of your wall, you somehow blame yourself for he sees only just a part of you.

There are days when you feel you are completely loved...and this is not one of those days.