Don’t Run

It’s been a while since I wrote something. I am not sure why. But like most of the things that aren’t truly realized, it is because of fear. I am scared. There are things in my life that are being triggered every time I write something. Things that I ignore, things that I hide in the closet, things that I don’t really want to be put in to light. Then, I realized that there is one thing that I used to be good at. I was so good at running away. Running away from something or someone did not mean that I don’t like them. For me, it was the other way around. I was so good in running away whenever I really really liked something. This was so true especially with me dealing with people. The more I like a person, the more I had the tendency to leave them. The more I know that they were good for me, I run. It was like I had this formula that whenever I see something that I like, the initial response should be to decline. Unconsciously, I was able to apply this idea to my relationships. And I just hope that I get to completely heal with this “label” that I and my past experiences were able to put on me. I want to be more expansive and be at my best. But I just can’t be able to do that if I keep on running away and somehow rejects the offer that the universe gives me. I don’t want to be scared anymore because I might miss out on blessings that are meant to be for me. I want to get to a point in my life where I get excited to receive good things because I deserve them. I want the running away to stop and accepting to begin. I want to not be afraid anymore. I want to receive. I want to be happy. Completely.