Breathing in Newness

There is a sense of renewal every time I wake up early and get to walk outside and experience nature breathe its first breath in the morning. I was not a morning person. I hated waking up early. I remember myself always trying to sleep as late as possible and think about stuff and sometimes just to convince myself that I have been productive and all. I also had this belief that sleep takes away my time left here on earth, as if it were a thief that steals my very life and purpose. All of it changed when I had a dog, Bonjing, who I purposely trained to walk with me around 5:30 in the morning (this was when I was still in Dumaguete City). All the more, when I got back here in my hometown, Cabuyao, in the province of Laguna, mid-2017, after almost 8 years of being away, I had to really, really get up early to help my mom who just had a brain surgery back then to prepare my niece and nephew going to school, to cook breakfast and do as much household chores as possible with the limited time I have because I, too, have to prepare for work. I had to wake up really early and prepare my mind and body to do all those things regardless of how much sleep I had at night. In a way, I was forced to get up and enjoy the silence before everyone else breaks it. Because I had to walk Bonjing, I was also forced to witness the sunrise, to hear the singing of the birds, to experience the earth unfold to its newness. Slowly, I was able to appreciate the different colors and scents of the morning in all its glory. My experience has always been better and better. Indeed, it is one of the little things that mean a lot to me. There is something in the morning that is constantly reminding me that there is always a reset button. It may not always seem the thing that you expected it to be, but it is definitely a new start.

It is timely and fitting to kick off this site with my experience and thoughts about renewal, rebirth and restoration (especially while experiencing lockdown). At this time, because of the situation globally, the world literally and figuratively stopped. It brings fear, panic, frustration and desperation to us knowing where it leads - death. I had to feel and search deep within, “Why am I afraid?” Why am I afraid when I had experienced death so many times in so many levels except physically? If time is an illusion, what if death is, too? If morning is a reset button, what if it can defy death and make us new again? Instead of us focusing on things that are out of control, what if we redirect our eyes on the things that are less seen or may I say, that are unseen? What if we control the things that we can, like our mind? What if instead of thinking that the world is a chaos, it may be at its most peaceful time now for a long time? What if we try to think and consider that the world may be telling us a different message than what the media is projecting to all of us?

I, for instance, feel that the world really wants us to stop and intentionally make us stay at home thinking and doing things we should have done before. I feel that the world heard us collectively when we silently told ourselves, “I will read this book when I have time.”, “I will try to learn this beautiful piano piece that I have been planning to play for so long if only I have the time.”, “I will really go back to sketching and painting once I finished with all the workload I have.” I really feel that most of us have this silent desire of wanting to do things that we are really passionate about. We let ourselves hinder us by believing in a society that tells us that creativity or doing something to express our most vulnerable self is unacceptable and will cost us our survival. But lo, and behold, the universe thinks otherwise and literally gave us the time to do all these things (at least for most of us). So, what shall you do with all the time that are being offered to you?

Breathe...breathe in newness.

What is the thing that truly makes you happy and not limited?

Renew your commitment to yourself and do the things that make you smile, that make you vulnerable...vulnerable but free.

Breathe in the newness of the morning and watch the unfolding of a new life right before your eyes.

Experience the world completely by seeing the things that are unseen, hearing the messages that are unheard and doing the things that you once thought that are impossible.

Feel yourself, be with yourself and let the universe show you how beautiful and abundant you are.

To love and light!